My Personal Learning Experience - Part I

I've never written here about loosing my little girl ten days after she was born, but it was a heart-wrenching experience. After four years of trying to get pregnant again, and while not preventing pregnancy having all but given up hoping, we found ourselves surprisingly pregnant again.

The Lord had been dealing with my heart (and still is) especially over my usually irritated (at best - overtly angry at worst) reactions to my children when I would be interrupted in whatever it was that I was doing. And in all honesty to my children, I was always 'doing' something. One of the things that I would do oftentimes was to turn on Netflix to watch something during the afternoons when they were outside playing. As children do, however, they would constantly come in, every other minute all the time they were outside and continuously interrupting me in what I believed should have been my down time.

Well, finding out that I was pregnant again, and having nagging fears in the back of my mind about Meagan, I "made a deal" with the Lord. Yes, I know He's not obligated to do anything. Call it His agent of change in me. I told the Lord that I would give up any form of movie/TV show watching via Netflix or any other online medium, or our own personal DVD collection while my children were awake. Instead, I watch a half of a TV episode on Netflix after the children go to bed or before they get up while I'm walking on the treadmill. This has done two things for me. First off, it's made my exercising during this pregnancy very regular unless I'm really under the weather. This has also removed one of the temptations for me to escape from my children (which is what it really is being unnecessarily busy). Secondly, it's cut back any visual media consumption to a bare minimum. At most I see 45 minutes of "TV" on any given day. Most days, it's 25 minutes or nothing.

While I am thankful for these little changes, the Lord wasn't done with where He wants to take me or what He wants to teach me. I'll share my continuing journey next time.