To Love Their Children

When a cuddly, soft, quiet, precious, little baby is set in your arms for the first time whether it's after a long-hard labor, or as a friend of mine, Ramona, would attest to, holding that baby after a long-hard adoption process, any person would wonder how in the world you couldn't love that child. It just comes naturally!

Well, praise the Lord, sometimes it does! When reality of sleepless nights, obnoxious smelling diapers, total upset of your 'normal' schedule sets in, it's not too hard to see how you might get just slightly upset at a normally cute baby. Or what about those preschoolers. Ever accidentally left a pencil or crayon in the living room while you were cooking dinner in the kitchen? Isn't that look on their face amazingly cute when you walk in and found out they have drawn all over the walls or the books or your Sunday coupons? Then there are the elementary school aged children, who know just enough to get them into trouble - just enough about how to get into paints to make a mess -- just enough about baking to scatter flour on the flour while trying to get it into a bowl -- just enough about a CD, video, or DVD to do something to one as they try to get it to play? I won't comment on the highschoolers as I do not as of yet have them, but you all get the picture.

In Titus 2:4, the phrase "to love their children" is all one word in Greek, it's Philoteknos which according to Strong's Online Concordance means, "loving one's offspring or children," so that didn't help me too much in hoping to unpack the meaning of the phrase for you. The word only occurs once in the New Testament and that is here in Titus 2:4.

Since the Concordance didn't do much for me this one time, I decided to head to my trusty Matthew Henry Commentary. He discusses this phrase in his commentary on Titus thus, "And to love their children, not with a natural affection only, but a spiritual, a love springing from a holy sanctified heart and regulated by the word; not a fond foolish love, indulging them in evil, neglecting due reproof and correction where necessary, but a regular Christian love, showing itself in their pious education, forming their life and manners aright, taking care of their souls as well as of their bodies, of their spiritual welfare as well as of their temporal, of the former chiefly and in the first place. "

That gives us something more to practically sink our teeth into. We have four different aspects by which we should be loving (doing deeds of love) to our children.

We should do love to our children spiritually. Yes, father's are to be the spiritual leaders of the house and yet oftentimes we are the ones with our children more during the day. I know in our case, Steve has delegated morning worship and the task of making sure Ian and Jordan read their chapter in Proverbs of the day to me. And yet that is so small when you compare the ability of walking alongside my children each and every day and getting to speak the Bible into their lives in whatever situation we are in. Maybe someone is being selfish, I should speak verses of generosity into their lives. Perhaps someone was downright mean, I have the obligation to speak verses of kindness into their lives. Perchance someone was acting in anger, I have the duty and great privilege of speaking patience, self-control, and giving the situation over to the Lord into their situation.

We should love our children intellectually. We should educate them, fill their mind with the word and with all good things. We should love them enough to censure them from things that range from partially true and misleading to downright evil. The former end of the spectrum being kept until they are ready to biblically discuss the issue, the latter end of the spectrum never being touched.

We should love them in discipline. We shouldn't neglect the training of their spirits by not reproving their foolish actions and attitudes, while reminding them always that we love them and are seeking their good.

We should love them bodily taking care of their necessary bodily cares such as food, clothing, shelter.

While Matthew Henry didn't mention emotionally loving them, I would again purport that it is cyclical. The more you do love to your children, the more you will feel an emotional bond, so the more you do love toward your children, so the more attached you become to them emotionally. The two things go hand in hand.